Uncover the Hidden Gem: The Hills 164, Trichardt's Best-Kept Secret!
Unveiling "The Hills 164": My Trip to Trichardt's Emerald (and My Honest, Messy Thoughts)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your average hotel review. This is my chronicle of battling, loving, and occasionally questioning "The Hills 164," Trichardt's so-called "best-kept secret." My expectations were high, fueled by the whisperings… but, as usual, reality had other plans.
**(SEO & Metadata Stuff First, Ugh)
- Keywords: The Hills 164, Trichardt, hotel review, spa, pool, South Africa, accessibility, wheelchair accessible, Wi-Fi, restaurant, fitness center, safety, cleanliness, family friendly, luxury, best hotels, travel South Africa, Mpumalanga, accommodation
- Meta Description: A brutally honest review of "The Hills 164" in Trichardt, South Africa. Discover the good, the bad, and the hilariously messy bits of this supposed hidden gem. Accessibility, spa, cleanliness, and Wi-Fi, all exposed!
- Category: Travel, Hotels, South Africa, Mpumalanga, Review**
**(The Arrival: A Mixed Bag)
First impressions? Well, the drive to The Hills was scenic, definitely a win (or at least, a distraction from the endless landscape). Finding the place, however, was a mini-adventure in itself. Hidden gem? More like really hidden, which, admittedly, adds to the mystique as you start driving and driving and wondering if you’ve taken a wrong turn. Finally, there it was, nestled amongst… well, hills. Hence the name, duh.
Accessibility: Alright, let's get this out of the way. Accessibility is a mixed bag. The main areas are pretty good, with ramps and elevators. Wheelchair accessibility is advertised, and it's mostly true from my observation, but you NEED to confirm it with the hotel directly. There were some areas where space felt a bit tight. It really depends on where the room is situated. Some of the walkways felt like they were fighting the natural incline of the landscape, which I can see being challenging for someone with mobility issues. So, good intentions, maybe a little more work needed.
(On-site accessible restaurants / lounges)(more to do with this): The restaurant situation was weird, not going to lie. It’s like they tried to get everything done in one go and it was fine, yet not great. Some of the spaces felt accessible, and some felt like they were trying but then ran out of steam. I feel like I could have asked for some extra space around my seat, and they would have tried.
(The Room: Cozy or Claustrophobic? Depends on Your Mood)
My room? Well, it had all the "Available in all rooms" amenities. Yes, I had Air conditioning, an Alarm clock, Bathrobes, and a Mini bar. The Coffee/tea maker was a godsend. The Free bottled water was appreciated because let’s be honest, it’s South Africa, and you're probably going to sweat. Non-smoking rooms, of course. Everything was there, including Free Wi-Fi, which, thank goodness, actually worked (more on that later).
I opted for a room with Seating area and an extra long bed, because why not. The bed? Glorious. Slept like a log, which is saying something because I’m usually a light sleeper. Soundproofing was surprisingly effective too. The Blackout curtains? Chef's kiss.
But… and there’s always a “but,” the space felt a little… small. Think cozy, but heading towards potentially claustrophobic depending on your mood. The Window that opens was a godsend for breathing in the fresh air, and the Reading light was perfect for those late-night book binges.
(Internet Woes and Wi-Fi Wonders)
Alright, the internet. This is where things got… interesting. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Yes!! I need that because, you know, work doesn’t stop. And that's probably where the "interesting" came in. While the signal existed, the speed oscillated between adequate and dial-up. God bless the Internet access – wireless and on more than one occasion, I wished I had bought a satellite. I think the Internet [LAN] option must exist in the room and had some form of cable! I needed to focus, but ultimately I had to leave and move to an internet cafe down the way.
(Dining: A Culinary Rollercoaster)
The dining experience was… a journey.
- Breakfast [buffet]: The Breakfast [buffet] was the highlight, an utter feast. Western breakfast? Check. Asian breakfast? Check. Even the most specific of diets are sure to be satisfied by a buffet, it was vast.
- Restaurants: The Restaurants were a bit more hit-or-miss. The food quality varied, but the staff were always friendly, if a bit… overwhelmed. The options were a plenty, from A la carte in restaurant to the main dining room with a buffet in restaurant. There was a Coffee/tea in restaurant too. I will give them that.
- Bars and Lounges: The Poolside bar was a winner, perfect for sipping cocktails while pretending to be a suave traveler.
- Dietary Needs: I was glad to see Alternative meal arrangement and Vegetarian restaurant options available.
(Spa and Relaxation: The High Points)
Now, this is where The Hills 164 earns its stripes. The spa? Divine.
- The good: The Pool with view was everything. I spent hours there, alternating between swimming and simply staring at the horizon. The Sauna, Steamroom, and Jacuzzi were pure bliss. I even got talked into a Body scrub and Massge, and it was pure decadence.
- The less good: The Fitness center was… basic. A few machines, but nothing that would keep a seasoned gym rat entertained for long. I will also admit that I didn't even go to the "Spa/sauna", so, there's that.
(Cleanliness and Safety: Feeling Secure)
Seriously, thumbs up here.
- Good Stuff: Anti-viral cleaning products!, Daily disinfection in common areas!, Hand sanitizer everywhere! Rooms sanitized between stays!, and you could Room sanitization opt-out available (if you have an issue)! This felt safe and secure.
- Safety/security feature, CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property. The Staff trained in safety protocol.
(Things to Do (Besides Eating and Sleeping):)
The Pool was the main attraction, and rightfully so. The Terrace was lovely for a sundowner. They also offered Meeting/banquet facilities, and Business facilities, which I didn’t use, but they seemed decently equipped. But, it's in the middle of nowhere… so, prepare to chill out or get creative!
(Services and Conveniences: The Nitty-Gritty)
- Helpful Stuff: Doorman, Concierge, Dry cleaning, Laundry service, Luggage storage. The 24-hour Front desk was a lifesaver.
- Nice-to-Haves: Car park [free of charge] (thank goodness), Cash withdrawal, Gift/souvenir shop.
(For the Kids (Or, "The Babysitting Debacle")
The Family/child friendly label is there, but I didn’t see much in the way of dedicated kids' facilities. There was a Babysitting service, which I didn’t use although I was tempted. Although I have a friend who used it and said it was “ok” (which, in babysitting speak, usually means "they survived").
(The Verdict: Worth a Trip? (With Caveats))
So, is "The Hills 164" Trichardt's best-kept secret? Maybe. They're trying! It's Family friendly with a range of facilities, and generally feels safe and secure. It had major potential to be great, and the spa and pool were absolute highlights.
The major things missing from the experience: The internet (which is fixable, thankfully!), and maybe a little more polish in the service. But for a relaxing getaway, or even an escape into the wilderness, it's a decent option.
Would I go back? Possibly. I’d definitely confirm internet speeds beforehand, and maybe bring a portable hotspot for emergencies. But that pool… yeah, that might be enough to sway me.
Foshan's Hidden Gem: Chic Apartment w/ HUGE Windows & Stunning Views!
Okay, buckle up Buttercups, because this isn’t your sanitized, brochure-perfect itinerary. This is me, navigating the chaotic, beautiful, and potentially pants-wettingly embarrassing reality of a trip to The Hills 164, Trichardt, South Africa. Prepare for rambles, opinions, and possibly a few too many exclamation points.
The Hills 164: Operation "Don't Get Eaten by a Lion" (Or, At Least, Don't Die of Embarrassment)
Day 1: Arrival and the Great "Jet Lagged Brain Fog" of Doom
- Morning (8:00 AM, Johannesburg Airport): Landed! Honestly, the flight was a blur of screaming babies and in-flight movies I swore I'd never see. I'm pretty sure I dreamt I was dating a sentient pineapple. Jet lag is a beast. Smug "well-rested" travelers? I hate them.
- Morning (9:30 AM): The rental car. It’s a tiny, rusty… thing. Pretty sure it breathes heavily. Got the "manual transmission fear sweat" going on already. Praying I don't stall at a crucial moment. The guy at the counter, a charmingly grumpy South African named Piet, looked at my driving license like it was a ransom note. "You're sure you can handle gears, my friend?" he asked. My ego, bruised but still breathing, replied, "Absolutely! (Please, God, let me not humiliate myself…)"
- Mid-day (12:00 PM, Road to Trichardt): Oh. My. Goodness. The scenery. Seriously, South Africa, you’re showing off. Rolling hills, vast open spaces, and the sheer size of the sky… it's overwhelming in the best possible way. I almost drive off the road admiring a group of zebra. Almost. My first South African "adventure" might be a fender bender. Focus, brain, focus!
- Afternoon (2:00 PM, The Hills 164 Accommodation Arrival): Finally. The place is gorgeous, a blend of rustic charm and modern comfort. My first thought? "Did I accidentally book a place for royalty?" Second thought: "Where's the pool? (Priorities, people!)" Unpacking takes forever because I'm still in "brain fog" mode. I swear I almost put my toothbrush in the fridge.
- Evening (6:00 PM): Dinner. Tried to be adventurous and ordered something I couldn't pronounce. Probably sounded like a dying walrus. Turns out, it was delicious! (Relief). Trying to stay awake until a sensible bedtime is a Herculean task. My eyelids are fighting a losing battle.
Day 2: The Great Hiking Debacle and a Braai Bonanza
- Morning (7:00 AM): Woke up! Surprise! Feeling surprisingly spry… until I actually stand up. The body says, "What was that?! I wasn't prepared for that amount of activity."
- Morning (8:00 AM): Coffee. Sweet, black nectar of the gods. Without this, I'm a grumpy, unfocused zombie.
- Morning (9:00 AM, Hiking Trail): Attempted to hike. Emphasis on attempted. The brochure promised "moderate difficulty." My lungs screamed "Lies!" after the first ten minutes. The views were spectacular, though. So spectacular I forgot about the burning in my quads for a few glorious seconds. Almost lost my balance at one point and almost fell headfirst into some bushes! I think I saw a baboon staring and laughing.
- Mid-day (12:00 PM): Lunch. Collapse at a cafe, order the biggest, greasiest burger I can find. Fueling the body for the afternoon.
- Afternoon (2:00 PM, Braai Preparation): Okay, so I have zero braai experience. Braai, for the uninitiated, is a South African barbecue. My friends back home were horrified when I told them I wasn't going to be doing the braai. It would be the most important thing for me to experience. I have been observing and trying to learn. Now, i'm in charge of the side dishes. I am attempting to make potato salad. The recipe calls for "a generous pinch of paprika." A pinch? What does even mean? I added a "generous handful" and now it feels like my potato salad is going to catch fire. Wish me luck.
- Afternoon (6:00 PM, Braai Time): The braai… was epic. The meat was perfection. The potato salad… well, it had a certain… fiery charm. The entire experience was the best moment of this trip so far; good food, good company, and the beautiful South African evening.
- Evening (9:00 PM): Stargazing. The night sky. A glittering, velvet curtain draped across the cosmos. It's moments like these that make you forget about the blisters, the jet lag, and the near-death experiences with rusty cars. Pure magic.
Day 3: The "Culture Shock" and the Farewell Feeling
- Morning (8:00 AM, Trichardt Town Visit): Decided to see the town. The vibe is friendly, full of laughter and the feeling of belonging. I walked passed a fruit market and the lady there offered me a fruit called a "Litchi." It tasted like a burst of sunshine!
- Morning (11:00 AM, Packing): Ugh, the inevitable. Always the worst part of any trip. Packing, repacking, trying to remember where I put the charger. The memories are flooding back. I'm already feeling a pang of sadness!
- Mid-day (12:00 PM): Lunch at a restaurant. The food was amazing; I ate as much as I could!
- Afternoon (2:00 PM, Departure): Check out. Goodbye to the wonderful staff and the property.
- Afternoon (3:00 PM, Road Trip): One last drive. I want to make the most of it. The road, the nature, the people… I will never forget it!
- Evening (7:00 PM, Johannesburg Airport): The airport is a mass of humanity, a blend of languages and cultures. The hum of anticipation for the next adventure, the bittersweet ache of leaving this one behind. My heart is heavy, but my soul is full. This trip was an experience of a lifetime.
This is just a framework. Everything is subject to change, to spontaneous detours, to moments of sheer, unadulterated joy and (let's be honest) moments of utter chaos. This is South Africa. Embrace it. Be prepared to laugh at yourself. And for the love of all that is holy, remember the sunscreen. And maybe, just maybe, pack a spare toothbrush. You never know what kind of adventure awaits you!
Spain's Hidden Gem: Hotel Boa Vista Vivero - Unforgettable Stay!
Uncover the Hidden Gem: The Hills 164 - FAQs! (And My Take...)
Okay, okay, so what *is* The Hills 164 anyway? Just another guesthouse in Trichardt?
Ugh, hold on. Guesthouse? Yeah, technically. But *another* guesthouse? Absolutely NOT. Look, I've stayed in places that felt more welcoming than a prison cell. The Hills 164? It's... it's a vibe. Think less sterile hotel, more… cool aunt's house that you actually *want* to hang out in. It's got this relaxed, friendly feel, like you're just part of the furniture, which, by the way, is all comfy and well-chosen. Seriously, the bed? Heaven. My back still thanks me. And it’s in Trichardt, which… well, it’s Trichardt. Let's just say, it's a gem *in* Trichardt.
What's the most amazing thing about this 'hidden gem'? Dish!
Right, okay, so I’m gonna tell you something. Forget the pretty rooms, the nice breakfast (which *is* good, don't get me wrong – real coffee, none of that instant-crap-that-claims-to-be-coffee), it’s the *people*. Specifically, I think it's the owner, let's call her Brenda. Brenda is… well, she's one of a kind. She's got this energy, this… *spark*. She's genuinely happy to see you. Like, actually happy. I arrived late one night, completely frazzled after fighting with the GPS, and she just gave me a proper hug and poured me a glass of wine. Wine! Before I even unpacked. Heaven. She’s got stories. Oh, the stories! Just… *listen* to her! One night, over the braai (which, by the way, is amazing – all the meat is cooked *perfectly*), she told me about… oh, I can't even remember what it was about exactly, but it involved a rogue chicken, a gardening competition, and a very large inflatable flamingo. That, my friends, is entertainment. That's what makes the place special, it's more authentic than a fancy chain hotel.
Is it kid-friendly? Can I bring the Sprogs?
Hmm. Okay, this is a slightly tougher one. Brenda definitely seems to love kids. Like, *really* loves them. She has grandkids of her own, so she has a good understanding of what it's like to be a parent. But, you know… it's probably best to ask her *directly* if your little angels are the kind that can't stop screaming and running in circles all day, or if they're the quiet, polite type. I'm being honest, it's not a mega-resort with a dedicated kids club. I reckon it depends on your kids. If you have highly energetic kids that are not used to sitting still. You may need to look into other options, I would personally not recommend it. She does have a lovely garden though, and a pool, so... decisions, decisions. Check in with Brenda, better safe than sorry.
How's the food? I get hangry. Very hangry.
Right, food. Okay, so breakfast is included. Good, solid breakfast. Eggs, bacon, toast, the works. Nothing revolutionary, but satisfying and sets you up for the day. They also do dinners sometimes, which is an absolute MUST. Seriously, you *have* to try the braai. The meat is cooked perfectly, and the sides are fantastic. They have a whole vegetarian option, which is brilliant because a good friend of mine recently became a vegetarian. Honestly, the food is home-cooked, generous, and delicious. If you're after Michelin-star dining, this ain't it. But if you want proper, good food, you will love it. I swear I ate enough boerewors to feed a small army. Best thing I've ever tasted in my life!
Any downsides? Gotta be some, right?
Okay, here's the brutally honest truth. It's not the Ritz-Carlton, alright? This isn't some polished, flawless experience. There might be a slightly wonky tap in your bathroom. The WiFi might be a little dodgy in some rooms. The occasional dog might bark at 3 AM. And, you know, Trichardt isn't exactly a bustling metropolis. You can't just wander out and find a fancy cocktail bar. But honestly? These are minor inconveniences. You're not there for perfection. You're there for a genuine experience, for Brenda's infectious laughter, for the feeling of being welcomed into a home. And let's be real; those imperfections? They add character. They're part of what makes it special. And the wonky tap? Adds character. I wouldn't have it any other way.
What's the best time to visit?
Honestly? I'd say, anytime. Trichardt is what it is. The Hills 164 doesn't really care about seasons. I went in the middle of winter and it was fantastic, the fireplace was crackling, the atmosphere was cozy. Brenda even made hot chocolate! But if you're sensitive to the cold… maybe avoid winter. But really, just go. Don't overthink it. Just book it. You won't regret it.
