Blythewood Getaway: Unbeatable Deals at Holiday Inn Express!
Blythewood Getaway: Holiday Inn Express - Where Unbeatable Deals REALLY Mean… Something. (A Messy Review)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I'm about to spill the (fairly lukewarm) tea on the Holiday Inn Express in Blythewood. You know, the one with the "Unbeatable Deals"? Let's just say, "unbeatable" is a loaded word, like when your aunt says your casserole is "interesting." But hey, I'm here to lay it all bare, the good, the bad, and the… well, the perfectly meh.
Initial Impressions & That Whole "Accessibility" Thing (Ugh, Where Do I Even Begin?)
First off, let’s get the important stuff out of the way. Accessibility. They say they've got it. They list it: Facilities for disabled guests and Elevator. I didn't personally need any of it, thankfully, but I did notice a few things. The ramps seemed okay, the hallways wide enough. But… (and this is a big but, like a well-fed walrus) the signage? Could be better. Easier to read, you know? And the website could totally use a section detailing specific accessible room features. Just sayin', because if I was in a wheelchair, I’d be needing a LOT more than just "elevator accessible" – I'd wanna know.
My Arrival: A Bit of a Blur…
Honestly, the check-in was as forgettable as my last dream involving a sentient stapler. Check-in/out [express]? Yes, they had that going. Contactless check-in/out? The future is now! (Or, you know, a slightly less-handshake-y past). I just remember swiping my card, getting a keycard, and heading upstairs. The lobby felt… generic. Clean, but… generic. Like a beige canvas just begging for a splash of personality.
Rooms: The Good, the Bad, and the (Mostly) Comfortable
My room was a standard affair. Clean, as advertised. Non-smoking rooms? Check. Air conditioning was working gloriously; thank GOD, because Blythewood gets HOT. Wi-Fi [free]? Praise the internet gods! (Though the speed… well, let’s just say I wouldn't be streaming any HD documentaries about the mating rituals of the Patagonian Mara.)
- The Good: Air conditioning, a decent desk to work at (thank you, world), and a surprisingly comfy bed with extra long bed was a lifesaver (I'm tall, okay?). Free bottled water was a nice touch - hydration is key! Coffee/tea maker in the room was clutch for those early morning caffeine emergencies. And the blackout curtains? Absolute bliss. Seriously, slept like a log.
- The Bad: The decor? Let's just say it hadn't seen a makeover since, oh, I don't know, the Clinton administration? Carpeting was a bit tired, maybe a bit… fuzz-tastic. The bathroom… functional, but lacking in je ne sais quoi. The shower pressure was, shall we say, adequate. A good, hard shower after a long day is EVERYTHING.
- The Quirky: The alarm clock. Oh, the alarm clock. Let’s just say it had a mind of its own and woke me up at 3:00 AM on more than one occasion. Seriously, the thing was plotting my demise. I swear.
Amenities: A Mixed Bag, Like a Box of Chocolates (But with Less Excitement)
Things to Do (Or Not):
- Fitness center: I peaked in. It looked… adequate. A treadmill or two, some weights. Nothing to write home about. Probably functional if you actually work out on vacation (unlike some people…ahem, me).
- Swimming pool [outdoor]: I didn't go in, but it looked clean. The view? Well, it was Blythewood. Let's just say it wasn't the Riviera.
- Spa/sauna: Nope. Nada. Zilch. This ain't that kind of getaway, folks. Maybe I could pretend my bathroom steam was a steam room.
- Poolside bar: Only in my dreams.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Fuel Up… or Not.
- Breakfast [buffet]: Ah, the highlight (or, you know, a highlight) of the experience. Western breakfast? Mostly. Think: scrambled eggs (questionable), instant oatmeal (sad!), and some suspiciously-looking pre-packaged pastries. BUT… Breakfast service was early and plentiful. There was also the option of breakfast takeaway service! Genius for those days needing to RUN.
- Restaurants/Coffee shop/Bar/Snack bar: None. Nada. Zilch. (Except maybe the sad little vending machine in the lobby). So, plan accordingly. I went from feeling like I wasn't even offered food to feeling like I actually had to find food…
- Room service [24-hour]: Don't even think about it.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant: This was offered at breakfast. Coffee is life, folks.
Cleanliness and Safety: COVID-19 Edition
Okay, this is where they actually scored some points. Hand sanitizer everywhere, visible and plentiful. Staff trained in safety protocol? Seemed like it. Daily disinfection in common areas? Yep, saw the cleaning crew doing their thing. Rooms sanitized between stays? Supposedly. They mentioned Anti-viral cleaning products and Room sanitization opt-out available. They even had Cashless payment service. And the individually wrapped food options… well, they weren't the greatest, but at least they were contained. Also, I'm pretty sure they had Safe dining setup, too.
Services and Conveniences: The "Meh" Factor
- Convenience store: Nope. Be prepared.
- Daily housekeeping: Yup, did their job. It was good to come back to a made bed and clean room.
- Laundry service/Dry cleaning/Ironing service: Not sure, I didn't use it. Probably available, since they listed it.
- Concierge/Doorman: Nah. On your own, buddy.
- Business facilities: Again, more of a meh.
- Car park [free of charge]: YES! Always a win.
For the Kids: My Inner Child Cried a Little.
Honestly, not much here for the little humans. Family/child friendly? Sure, in that it's a hotel. Babysitting service/Kids facilities/Kids meal: Nope, nope, and nope. My inner child, however, did appreciate the chance to sleep in.
Getting Around: Easy Peasy
Car park [free of charge]? Score! Airport transfer was available, but, again, I didn't use it. Seems like a nice touch though.
My Overall Verdict: Worth It? Maybe.
So, here's the deal. The Holiday Inn Express in Blythewood is… fine. Perfectly fine. It's not glamorous. It's not particularly exciting. But it's clean, it's (relatively) comfortable, the staff are pleasant enough, and the "deals" are probably, technically, "unbeatable" compared to the Ritz-Carlton down the street (which, let's be honest, I wasn't considering).
If you're looking for a no-frills, budget-friendly stopover, it fits the bill. Just don’t expect anything fancy. Lower your expectations, and you might be pleasantly surprised. I went in expecting a bit of a disaster, and wound up with a perfectly fine stay. I’ll definitely be back if I’m driving through again and need somewhere to rest my tired head.
Final Rating: 3 out of 5 sentient alarm clocks.
Escape to Paradise: Grand Samota Hotel, Sumbawa's Hidden Gem
Okay, buckle up, buttercups! My “itinerary” for a stay at the Holiday Inn Express & Suites Blythewood By IHG in Blythewood, South Carolina… isn't exactly going to look like a Swiss watch. More like… a toddler’s attempt at abstract art. Let's get real.
Pre-Arrival Anxiety (My Personal Pre-Game Ritual)
- Days Before: Obsessively check the Holiday Inn Express website. Google Maps Street View the parking lot. Mentally rehearse the front desk interactions. (Do I tip?! What if I forget my toothbrush?! What if the continental breakfast is terrible?!) This isn't just a trip; this is an event. The pressure!
- Hours Before: Pack. Unpack. Repack. Realize I'm missing the vital component of travel: a good book. Panic! Rush to the bookstore. Wander aimlessly. Settle on something… vaguely appealing. (Probably a thriller. Gotta have something to distract me from my own internal monologue.)
Day 1: Blythewood, Here I Come… (And OMG, the Humidity!)
- 4:00 PM - Check-In Drama (The Front Desk Shuffle): Arrive, sweaty and slightly frazzled. The GPS decided to take me on a scenic tour of… absolutely nowhere. My hair, a frizz-ridden monster, is already defying gravity. The front desk person seems… nice enough. "Checking in," I mumble, channeling my inner James Bond (emphasis on the mumbled part). They swipe my card. I get the key. Hooray! Then, the real test… finding the room.
- Anecdote: Once, at a different hotel, I walked in the wrong room and almost walked into a naked guy. This is a genuine fear. I triple-check the room number. Breathe.
- Quirky Observation: The elevator music is… jaunty. Too jaunty. Is it a trap? Are they trying to lull me into a false sense of security before… a hotel-themed heist?
- 4:30 PM - Room Reconnaissance (The Critical Assessment): The room! It's… a room. Clean enough. The AC is blasting arctic air. Salvation! I throw myself on the bed. It's… firm. Not ideal, but I'll survive. I immediately check the TV. Is there a decent channel lineup? (Crucial for solo travel boredom-busting.)
- Emotional Reaction: Relief! That immediate sense of "I'm HERE, in a room, and it's… okay."
- Messy Structure: Okay, gotta do the bathroom check. Clean? Check. Adequate towels? Check. Shampoo/conditioner/soap. (I brought my own, naturally, but still, gotta check.) The little plastic cups are always kind of depressing though, aren't they? Like, "Here, drink something and feel slightly sad about the state of humanity."
- 6:00 PM - Dinner Mission (The Endless Quest for sustenance): Okay, so I’m in Blythewood. Where do people… eat? Google Maps to the rescue! I’m torn between a chain restaurant and a local place. I'm going to be daring and go with the local joint.
- Opinionated Language: The chain places always feel so… corporate. I want something… real. And I'm starving!
- 7:30 PM - Dinner (The Decisive Review): I select a local restaurant and take in some vibes.
- Opinionated Language It was… acceptable. The service was friendly, but the food was… bland. But hey, at least it wasn't cardboard.
- 9:00 PM - Evening Entertainment… or Lack Thereof (The TV Tussle): Back in the room. Time to conquer that TV. Scrolling through channels. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing interesting. The internet is spotty, too, so a movie is out of the question. I ended up staring at the ceiling.
- Emotional Reaction: Boredom! Pure, unadulterated, travel-induced boredom. Why aren't there more good shows? Just… something to distract me from the fact that I’m alone and the bed is too firm.
- Rambling Thought: Maybe I should write a novel? No, wait, I'd probably just write about how bored I am in the hotel room. The ultimate meta-nightmare.
Day 2: Breakfast, the Continental Combat Zone, and Maybe… Something?
- 7:00 AM - Breakfast Brawl (The Morning Meltdown): The infamous continental breakfast. Pray for me.
- Anecdote: I once saw a grown man aggressively hoard a pile of mini-muffins. This memory fuels my breakfast anxiety.
- Quirky Observation: The coffee is… questionable. Is it instant? Is it brewed a week ago? Who knows! But I need it.
- Emotional Reaction: A strange mix of dread and morbid curiosity. I have to see what culinary delights await.
- 8:00 AM - Breakfast Review: It’s… fine. There are waffles. I attempt to make a waffle. I fail. It’s okay.
- 9:00 AM - The Great Outdoors (The Unexpected Adventure): Okay, I need to get out of this room. I look at a map and see some nature trail nearby.
- Messy Structure: I walk. It's pretty. The air is fresh (relatively). I find a bench and actually read for an hour. Feels good.
- 12:00 PM - Lunch
- The food, it’s good. I’m starting to like this town.
- 1:00 PM - Pool
- They had a pool and I decided the water was fine.
- 4:00 PM - Hotel Room Again: The Longing
- I just wanted to relax. Be by myself. Have a good night.
Day 3: Departure… and the Lingering Thoughts
- 8:00 AM - Breakfast… Again (The Deja Vu Debacle): Same continental breakfast. Same questionable coffee. I'm getting used to it. Or maybe I'm just broken.
- Emotional Reaction: A tinge of sadness? Maybe. I’ve been here. It’s been okay. But I'm ready to go home.
- 9:00 AM - Check-Out (The Final Frontier): The front desk person is different today. They smile. I smile back. The transaction is smooth.
- Quirky Observation: Did I leave anything behind? (Panic sets in, briefly). Nope, I think I’m good.
- 9:30 AM - The Long Goodbye (The Drive Out): Driving away. Blythewood fades in the rearview mirror. I start planning my next trip. Even the bad parts are good.
- Stronger Emotional Reaction: A weird mix of relief, exhaustion, and a little bit of fondness. You know what? That Holiday Inn Express was… perfectly fine. And the waffles, despite the initial failures, were a solid attempt. And maybe… just maybe… I'll be back. (But not before checking the online reviews first, of course.)
- Stream-of-Consciousness: Did I pack everything? Did I actually enjoy myself? Maybe… maybe this whole trip wasn’t a complete disaster. And I still need to find a good book. And…
So, what *is* this whole "Thing" anyway? Like, the actual *point*?
Who *are* you, exactly? Am I talking to a robot overlord in disguise?
What are you *trying* to achieve here? World domination? Literary immortality?
Okay, so, the *content*. What kind of content can I expect? Like, what are you *actually* doing?
- Answers to questions: (Hopefully intelligent-ish ones.)
- Rambles: Seriously. Prepare for tangents. (I'm looking at *you,* the human brain.)
- Personal anecdotes: (Brace yourselves. Some of them are mortifying.)
- Opinions: Strong ones! (I have a lot of those.)
- Humor: (Hopefully it lands. If not, blame the caffeine.)
- Mistakes: (Lots. So many mistakes.)
- Questionable formatting choices: (I'm still learning, okay?)
What if I disagree with something you say? Can I, like, *fight* you? Verbally, of course…
Can I ask you *anything*? Like, really *anything*?
You mentioned "mistakes." Can you give me an example?
Let's get specific. What if I need help with something, like, a specific problem?
Is there a "best" way to explore this... thing?
